Darkness looms over Misato’s condo as we return to Shinji’s caretaker, now cocooned within the repetition of a painful, determined ritual. Prompt ramen cups lie unattended and spoiling on the ground, beer cans stack up round her mattress, and a well-recognized voice hangs within the air: Kaji’s last message, Misato’s final connection to the person she liked. His encouragement to “go ahead with none hesitation” rings bitterly hole as Misato hunches over her desk, happier to hunch on this loop of acquainted suggestions moderately than strike out into the chilly, lonely world.
Even Kaji, who appeared so near determining a satisfying path by way of life, was finally unable to acknowledge his personal worth. It’s a curse that has haunted all of Evangelion’s lonely gamers; looking for hopelessly for validation and affection, but unable to articulate how a lot the individuals round them imply to them in flip. Shinji, who’s determined for connection but flees each doable confrontation. Asuka, who needs so badly to be liked, but can solely assert herself by way of anger and defiance. And Misato, whose pretensions of maturity prolonged even to the hopes of being a surrogate father or mother to Shinji and Asuka, but who now can solely anticipate a cellphone that can by no means ring.
The exhaustion is palpable within the dissolution of Misato’s would-be household, a sequence of closed doorways and defensive explanations that Shinji solemnly examines one after the other. It could be humorous if it weren’t so unhappy – who would have guessed that Shinji, out of all of them, could be the one one nonetheless keen to bridge human connection? Shinji, whose sense of self was all the time fragmentary at greatest, has outlasted the finally brittle identities of his once-confident rival and caretaker. Maybe that’s the nice energy hidden inside Shinji’s alleged weak point – that due to his insecurity, his important absence of a significant AT area, he’s all the time keen to succeed in out and take a look at once more. Sure, he has fled prior to now, however his need to do proper by the individuals he cares about all the time drew him again. For the boy who by no means had something to lose, there’s nothing for it however to just accept failure, collect your energy, and quietly strive once more.
Defeated once more in battle and along with her repressed reminiscences cruelly uncovered, Asuka’s response is as relatable as Misato’s: she hides out in Hikari’s bed room and performs videogames all day. In a recreation, you’ll be able to by no means fail so badly that you simply disappoint the individuals you care about; you’ll be able to merely begin over and take a look at once more, repeating duties till your proficiency matches the demanded ability degree. Wouldn’t that be good? Wouldn’t it’s a consolation if life had been related, if we had been all the time afforded the possibility to stumble and take a look at once more, continuing at our personal most well-liked tempo? And wouldn’t it’s particular if we had been all the time appreciated for that effort, if our eventual victory was all the time greeted by a “knew we might rely on you” from characters that don’t have any information of our earlier failures, or a minimum of don’t maintain them towards us?
Beforehand, it’s sure that Asuka would have thought of such pastimes a cowardly triviality, an escape from the extraordinary stress and profound thrill of testing your self towards one other human being, of preventing with all the things you’ve ever cared for on the road. However failure has a manner of tempering us; within the wake of failing to embody our highest ambitions, we come to understand {that a} world measured in winners and losers is a callous and lonely place. As such, it’s a very totally different Asuka who inquires gently if Hikari needs to sleep, and who apologizes into the darkness, saying “I’m sorry. Am I a hassle?”
Sadly, Asuka nonetheless possesses no different motivation, no sense of self past her will to be the perfect, and subsequently not be ignored by – her mom? Her rivals? Her lover? Regardless, the system of worth that was her solely protection towards her mom’s rejection has now failed her, leaving her adrift and nugatory, hating everybody and hating herself most of all. Her tragedy is all of the better as a result of it’s now of her personal making; having discovered private worth solely in excellence as an Eva pilot, she is now condemned by the system she herself created. As such, she can not discover solace in commiserating with Shinji, who has been equally abused through the chaining of his price as an individual to his efficacy as a pilot. Are you able to think about how she would possibly react to him sympathizing, to him seeing himself in her? Higher to cover right here, within the firm of somebody whose opinion might by no means have any bearing on her sense of self-worth.
Hikari tries, although. Responding to Asuka’s alarming litany of failure and fury, she says “I believe it’s okay to do no matter you need and I gained’t say something, as a result of I believe you probably did your greatest, Asuka.” Hikari can not “repair” Asuka, can not hope to make up for the scarring her previous has inflicted on her. However she will say she cares, and hope that Asuka interprets that as a consolation. We can not save the world, and might solely hope to avoid wasting ourselves – however we should are inclined to the watermelons once we can, and go away the world a bit bit kinder than we discovered it.
Because the survivors of NERV take their uneasy relaxation, it’s Ritsuko who stays awake by way of the evening, her labors counted in lipstick-garnished cigarette butts. Because it seems, even Ritsuko had one thing left to lose: that cat Misato solely simply talked about, who her grandmother informs her has handed away. She guarantees that “I’ll name subsequent time,” a quiet indication that if not for her grandmother’s insistence, even this private connection would have been severed years again. Is it higher then to reject private connection, lest you threat the despair into which Misato has now succumbed? If Ritsuko is any instance to go by, it doesn’t seem to be a cheerful solution to reside.
With the general temper of NERV’s operatives thus established, Evangelion affords a easy but complete title drop: “Tears.”
The subsequent angel seems nearly instantly, a glimmering ring hanging above the earth, like a halo looking for its destined forehead. Unit 00 is launched to intercept, and Unit 02 follows, a selection Gendo callously acknowledges is just for the sake of a decoy. His phrases echo NERV’s exhaustion and desecration; from their preliminary framing as superb saviors of humanity, the Eva items and their pilots at the moment are understood to be sacrificial lambs, helpful solely as long as they will stave off yet one more battering from the heavens. For her half, Asuka feels ashamed to have so simply returned to the Eva unit, stating that “I’m so unhealthy at letting issues go.” But at the same time as she condemns herself, her phrases replicate each her intelligence and a promise of the longer term: for now she is aware of that Unit 02 is yet one more supply of validation that she should finally develop past.
In the meantime, Rei holds in stoic place, rifle on the prepared, having unexpectedly come to be the only dependable pilot of our authentic trio. Her martial prowess serves as an echo of Shinji’s psychological endurance: as the 2 who all the time had the least to lose, they’ve maintained their energy by way of all of the cruelties of NERV’s operations, eternally preventing to take one inarguable step ahead. In fact, Rei has modified since we met her: she’s come to respect Shinji maybe much more than Gendo, to really feel shy within the presence of these she cares for, and to hope a greater life could be doable, if solely she continues to battle her hardest. It’s exactly Rei’s tentative, hard-fought private development, the humanity that she has discovered alongside her fellow pilots, that makes this angel’s ensuing actions such an insupportable cruelty.
As soon as once more, the angels’ major curiosity appears to be not violence, however connection – an intimate union with the Eva pilots, whether or not by way of their minds or bodily our bodies. In fact, as human beings outlined by the boundaries we erect, such connection is certain to suggest violence, as our fearsome, usually self-defeating individuality rallies towards this demand for complete mutual consciousness. Rei’s counter towards this angel’s fast assault embodies the awkward disconnect of those views; because the glowing thread of the angel pierces and corrupts Unit 00, Rei grabs no matter section of the beast she will, firing her rifle right into a creature that appears to defy bodily definition. There may be an inherent thrill in watching highly effective titans do battle, however this battle is one thing else totally; assaulted by a pressure with no steady type, Rei’s battle evokes extra a nightmare of drowning, a constriction of the breath by a pressure too alien to know it’s hurting her.
And so Rei finally joins her fellow pilots in struggling a psychological intrusion by the unknowable different, a careless shuffling of reminiscences like a lineup of potential criminals, the alien presence persistently asking “do you acknowledge this determine? Do you see this as your self?” As with Shinji’s near-total dissolution, this overseas presence asks Rei to fuse with itself, to which she replies “No. I’m me. I’m not you.” Her phrases might sound apparent, however they’re nonetheless an important act of defiance, rejecting not simply fusion, however subservience to the need of others. If Shinji or Asuka believed they could be absolutely understood, would possibly be capable of return to the adoring arms of their absent moms, it’s tough to think about they might reject such a name. However Rei is just not looking for a return to oblivion, a minimum of not anymore. Rei is defiantly, proudly herself.
The angel can not perceive such an intuition. Why would you need to be separate, when separation implies loneliness? Isn’t loneliness painful? Why would you invite such ache? “That’s your individual coronary heart, overflowing with sorrow,” the overseas entity instructs. However the angel has miscalculated – for in contemplating her personal sorrow, Rei’s eyes fill with tears. That is her ache, nobody else’s. These are the tears she has realized to shed, in acknowledgment of her personal valuable emotions. That is the struggling that proves her humanity – and after so lengthy being handled as a doll for using others, she is not going to let anybody strip her humanity once more.
As Unit 00 blooms into an unspeakable angel-Eva hybrid, the ban on Unit 01’s deployment is lifted, and Shinji takes the sphere. His AT area attracts the angel’s consideration, and it surges in the direction of him, swiftly initiating a corruption of his personal Eva unit. With a lot of Rei’s humanity now merged with the angel, its entreaties even take her type, thoughtlessly articulating her hidden want to grow to be one with Shinji. A need so essential that Evangelion’s staff really returned to it after the present’s preliminary launch, bolstering her coronary heart’s intent with animation worthy of its expression – however not like this. Not inside the merciless, implacable confines of the angel’s powers. And so Rei decides there is just one factor she will nonetheless do, just one solution to categorical her human will, her need to reside as a person and die with an earnest love in her coronary heart.
The Eva unit affords a grotesque imitation of motherhood because the angel is drawn again into its AT area. Rei rises, hoping to the tip {that a} hand would possibly attain out to the touch her personal. Then, in a cataclysmic act of private sacrifice, each angel and pilot are destroyed.
Earlier than we’ve even time to course of this explosion, the second title card arrives, saying this second half as “Rei III.” Evangelion has persistently used its double-titling to incredible dramatic impact, exploiting their in-episode presence a lot in the best way nice songwriters or storytellers would possibly create a distinction in tone between a piece’s title and content material. Such contrasts create an inherent dialog, even perhaps establishing a definite mindset by way of which to view the next materials. Right here, the title card offers a silent reply to a query that was idly prompted by the long-ago “Rei II,” now serving as a last affirmation of our worst fears. To name again to that title almost twenty episodes on creates a way of inevitability, a certainty of this story’s scaffolding that neatly aligns with its present sense of inexorable deterioration. To reply that query on this explicit manner seems like a hand quietly squeezing our personal, silently acknowledging our ache. No matter would possibly emerge from that hospital mattress, the Rei we knew is gone.
A minimum of Seele appear happy with themselves. Callous and preening as ever, they converse with delight of getting defeated all however one of many prophesied angels, whereas lamenting the losses they’ve suffered within the course of. What do they know of the fear of going through these beasts, or of the injury they’ve inflicted? Even Ritsuko, as soon as the bearer of an iron will that appeared solely second to Gendo’s, now appears shaken by her complicity on this butchery. Distracted from her work, she calls up a photograph from her time at Gehirn, a candid shot of herself, her mom, and Gendo Ikari. Her mom killed herself in despair after destroying the primary Rei, all for the need of Gendo’s affection. With the second Rei mendacity chilly on a slab, can she declare to be any totally different, see any brighter future awaiting her?
We will solely hope that within the sharing of grief, once-broken bonds could be mended. Maybe that’s what the angels had been making an attempt, although of their inconsiderate discarding of our emotional boundaries, they finally simply conjure terror and grief. Many people get by way of the day by compartmentalizing, editorializing, or just forgetting; full, unmediated understanding of the self could be a horrifying factor, to say nothing of making an attempt to share that unvarnished self with one other. And but we should strive, should be taught to forgive ourselves, should try to succeed in out even for all of the ache it’d convey. For what use is our ache, if even for all now we have suffered we can not take consolation within the concern of one other? Although the anonymity of stasis could be a consolation, whether or not embodied by way of Shinji’s tape or Asuka’s flight from the condo, it’s only by way of reaching out that we’d hope to grow to be entire.
As such, having swallowed her grief relating to Kaji’s dying, Misato finally reaches out to Shinji. As she joins him on his mattress, Shinji confesses that “I really feel unhappy, however the tears simply gained’t come.” Shinji has not realized categorical his grief – and Misato, with no fashions of motherhood and solely Kaji to simulate a “household,” can solely provide sexual intimacy to consolation him. Asuka was half-right when she described Misato as a failure of an grownup, however by no means for the explanations she believed. Misato has realized nothing however the signifiers of maturity Asuka mistook for the true factor; right here, when what’s demanded of her is a comforting maternal contact, she falters. Despite their determined loneliness and need to attach, Shinji and Misato possess no frequent information for expressing their sorrow. Misato quietly exits.
However then, a miracle! A name from the hospital, saying Rei remains to be alive! What a curious accident, that it might be the seemingly inhuman Rei who offers this household’s final hope of salvation, the one emotional tether nonetheless drawing them collectively. Their “reunion” is boarded as a reprise of Evangelion’s second episode, again when Ayanami’s survival was one of many first issues Shinji might take delight in, the primary optimistic fruit of piloting the Eva unit. Again then, it was Shinji who saved Rei – now, after all of the hard-fought understanding and concern they’ve cultivated, he can thank her for returning the favor. However in response to his thanks, Rei can solely acknowledge this feat because the gallantry of one other. “I simply don’t know,” she admits. “As a result of I believe I’m in all probability the third one.”
Rei III returns to a house that’s overseas to her, an condo laden with the reminiscences of one other self. As soon as, this room served as an affirmation of Rei’s irresolvable private distance, the strangeness which might presumably eternally separate her from Shinji’s makes an attempt at connection. However time reshapes us in methods we are able to by no means predict, and this room would finally come to replicate simply how shut the 2 of them had grown. Now, she stands geared up with solely the felt expertise of reminiscences she can not recall, tears falling on glasses which have misplaced their aware significance. A minimum of Rei II was finally in a position to reside her life on her personal phrases, preventing and dying for the sake of the individuals she liked. In comparison with the loneliness of standing in her predecessor’s unfamiliar shadow, Rei II’s destiny appears nearly a kindness.
If Ritsuko had hoped to flee her mom’s shadow, to be referred to as the fulfiller of her mom’s promise moderately than the heir of her mom’s burden, she should certainly be reconsidering these aspirations as she stands earlier than Seele, a alternative sacrifice for Fuyutsuki, this time actually stripped bare. Gendo makes her standing specific in his description of this sacrifice, stating that to be able to fulfill Seele’s anger over Rei’s reappearance, he “supplied the outdated males one thing else.” The physician that has realized his goals is just not even supplied the courtesy of a reputation; and for his or her half, the lads of Seele virtually slaver over Ritsuko’s physique, insincerely mewling that they “don’t want to topic you to any extra degradation and struggling.”
“I don’t really feel humiliated in any way,” Ritsuko replies. What can they take from her that Gendo has not already stolen?
We meet her once more after their interrogation has concluded, descending a type of interminable geofront escalators. Although the outdated males of Seele proceed their self-satisfied commentary, it’s Ritsuko’s face that dominates the scene; a gradual play of feelings made all of the extra vital by its presence right here, within the fatigued last stretch of Evangelion’s manufacturing. First, resigned consideration, her customary facade as she realizes her true price in Gendo’s thoughts. Her face tilts downward in defeat, then tightens, muscular tissues clenching as she fights to maintain the tears from flowing. She strains, forehead and lip shuddering as she holds again, silently swallowing the conclusion of all her worst fears. Then her head rises once more, her eyes half-lidded, the fatigue of understanding you’re a software, a alternative now etched into her default expression. Contrasted towards the allegedly high-minded strategic discussions of Seele, this poignant development seems like Evangelion’s priorities distilled into their purest articulation: the world could also be in jeopardy, however all that’s vital in life is contained inside the human coronary heart.
Allow them to plot. Let these chilly males of motion scheme their schemes, oblivious to all that makes life price residing, that makes humanity price saving. Misato is finished with them; she is able to observe in Kaji’s footsteps, and unveil no matter secrets and techniques have “necessitated” such unforgivable hardship. Ritsuko is finished with them; she is going to free the pilots of their bindings, and descend with Misato and Shinji to the depths of hell. They go first the room the place Ayanami was actually born, an echo of her sterile condo pointing to the odd quirks of unconscious, the sense of familiarity that endures even by way of dying and reincarnation. Then the graveyard of the unique Eva items, now dumped unceremoniously in a mass grave structured like a Tree of Sefirot, a grotesque sacrifice to human consciousness.
It’s a spectacle of revelation embellishing the human core of Ritsuko’s riot, however lord is it ever spectacular. The manufacturing staff’s expertise for each coopting and independently envisioning apocalyptic spectacle can’t be understated; for all of Evangelion’s success as an interrogation of human consciousness, it might not be the landmark it’s save for its unceasing procession of stark, transcendent, and horrifying imagery. There may be energy past mental appreciation in a shocking picture, because the revelation of the “dummy plug system” to be an enormous sea of alternate Reis nicely demonstrates. As Ritsuko fills within the cracks relating to our understanding of NERV and Adam, it’s these smiling Reis that occupy our consideration, the faultless quasi-human creations of mankind’s hubris.
In a grotesque recreation of her mom’s last act, Ritsuko strikes again towards the creatures which have supplanted her, destroying these duplicates for the crime of monopolizing Gendo’s love. “I solely wanted to consider him, and I might endure any humiliation,” she bitterly displays. There’s something worse than being rejected, worse than being despised. It’s to succeed in out to the one you’re keen on, and see them react like Gendo or Rei III, with full and utter indifference.
This article was made doable by reader assist. Thanks all for all that you simply do.